P.S. Last night, right after I finished writing to you, the lights went off for an hour. Load shedding. I went outside, since I didn’t fancy working in the dark, and caught the full moon simmering at me where the windswept branches forked. I watched it from the terrace for the length of three whole songs and took a dozen photographs. Made a video too, to capture the clouds floating across the moon like wispy veils, but the only movements the camera caught were those of the crackling trees. It wrecked the moonlight as well, turning it into a relentless flare which drowned out all the subtle silken nuances of black, white and grey. On impulse, I posted the photos and video to the family WhatsApp group. Everyone loved them. Everyone except me. I knew what the moon had actually looked like, drifting serenely with its sashaying cloud train high above the earth's frantic jig, and that just wasn't it. That wasn't it at all.
In the morning the clouds were still there, gold-threaded now instead of silver-grey, hovering hesitantly in the pale blue of the morning. As it rose, I watched the sun bleach the sky and iron the clouds out until they evaporated altogether. I strolled down to the park, and in spite of the treacherous muddy track and the sorry aunty tape-ball assassination squad I was content to be there, for the air was full of soaring, swooping kites, and blooming spring flowers covered the earth. Well, covered each square and circle and star they were given free rein over, for everywhere else, even the staid green grass had been mowed down to waveless bristles for people to step on. Hard to agonise over anything, really, on a day like this, or to be angry with myself, even if I know I should be. If I did not have to finish this thesis, I would have stayed there to make friends with the new Jasmine tree. Instead, here I am. At work.
Hibah Shabkhez
Hibah Shabkhez is a writer of the half-yo literary tradition, an erratic language-learning enthusiast, and a happily eccentric blogger from Lahore, Pakistan. Her work has previously appeared in Rougarou, Backstory Journal, Porridge Magazine, Boats Against The Current, Samjoko Magazine, Five Minutes, and a number of other literary magazines. Studying life, languages, and literature from a comparative perspective across linguistic and cultural boundaries holds a particular fascination for her.
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