P.S. Do you remember how I asked you for the name of the song that was playing the night we fell in love, cruising down Lakeshore Drive that starless summer as if there were nowhere else to be, no one else to be with in the entire city, in the entire world?
If I’m being honest, I knew the song this whole time. I wanted to tell you, to sing along too, but when I looked over at you, the sunset casting a multicoloured halo across your red curls, and heard you belting the words like they had been tattooed on your heart the very millisecond you entered this world, I decided not to join in; I didn’t want to break the sanctity of that moment, of your moment.
Instead, I held the memory in my hands like gold, replaying it on loop everywhere I went—my walk home the next morning, on the bus to work the following Monday—waiting for the right moment to ask you about it, if only just to hear the way that your voice danced over the syllables in the song’s title, the way you hummed a bit of the tune like it was written for you.
I’m sorry that I lied to you. I know that it is but a blip in the universe, simply the tiniest of white lies, but I never intended to start this relationship on a false basis, nor do I want to continue it on one. As we swing closer and closer together, our bodies finally falling into some sort of routine orbit, I wanted to clear the air and get this little truth off my chest. I hope you can forgive me for my inability to do anything but indulge in the beauty of you.
After years and years of flailing about, in constant, frantic movement, I am so excited to finally find some respite in the solidity, the security of you.
Kendall Wack
Kendall (they/she) is a Chicago-based queer, neurodivergent writer with a double BA in English, Creative Writing and French Literature & Language from Loyola University Chicago. They have found that the written word is one of the most powerful ways for like-minded people to connect, and aspire to use their voice to break down taboos. You can find her work in Diminuendo & Cadence, Heroica Magazine, Eclipse Zine, The SOUR Collective, and Poetically Magazine.
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